Let me tell you about jalapeños…they burn. They will burn your lips, they will burn your mouth and they will burn your tongue. They will burn your eyes and they will burn your nose. In fact, they will burn anywhere you touch and that’s why it’s important to wash your hands after working with them. Advice to live by.
Here is my personal story of a time when things got hot pretty fast and not in a way I care to experience again.
It was a lazy Friday evening at my boyfriend’s place and I was lying on his bed with a glass of wine looking for a movie to watch. He was making dinner on the other side of his open-plan studio apartment.
As it just so happens, I was feeling quite frisky and I thought I’d try to distract him. I slowly started undressing as he concentrated on preparing our meal. I lay naked staring at him, yet I got no reaction. I continued to lure his attention by slowly starting to touch myself whilst making light conversation. This seemed to do the trick and the moment he saw what I was up to he was on top of me.
This wasn’t the first time I’d pulled this trick and I was hoping our dinner wouldn’t be burnt this time round. Yet I was happy to see that I could still get this kind of reaction from him. In a blink of an eye, his clothes were off and he was pressing up against me. In the ‘heat’ of the moment, he slipped his fingers inside of me and that’s when things got really HOT!
It was a matter of seconds when I started yelling “STOP! Stop stop stop! Something’s wrong. It burns!!! Oh my god! Stop stop stop!” Immediately I saw a spark of guilt shoot through his eyes as he realised his mistake. He had been chopping jalapeños and well before he could wash his hands I had lured him into seduction.
With my vagina on fire, I had no idea what to do or how to handle this scenario and just jumped into the shower. This, however, did not help! Between the burning and the laughter, I couldn’t figure out what to do other than hopping around in blind hope that it would stop. My boyfriend found this to be hilarious. He did share a bit of sympathy though…on a previous occasion he had accidentally touched his own no-no bits by mistake and knew what I was going through.
Regardless of all the excitement and commotion, the burning started easing up and the food came out perfectly. To be honest, I can’t even remember what movie we watched that night. All I can remember is ongoing bursts of laughter that provided temporary moments of alleviation in the burn!
ADVICE: after a bit of research we’ve found that if you were to ever find yourself in this situation a bag of cold peas or ice in a washcloth placed on the area that has been touched by jalapeño hands can drastically help soothe the discomfort.
The stories shared via our anonymous submissions do not reflect the views or opinions of the owners of this website or of this website. These stories are served as real-life events which are to convey the seriousness or silliness of real-life events in the hopes to teach readers to be aware of the dangers that one can be faced with.