Carpet burns are extremely unpleasant. That is something we all learned growing up. Crawl too fast – burn. Move around on your elbows – burn. Roll around – burn. Have sex on your back – BURN.
My boyfriend and I stayed over in a hostel one night while we were out partying in the city. After a night of drinking, we returned to continue the debauchery back at the hostel.
It just so happened that we had a big room, meant for many people, all to ourselves. This included a few bunk beds and an open floor space covered with a big carpet. It was one of those long-haired white ones found in your parents’ houses before you were born. Or at least that’s how it would have looked like if it was still clean and fluffy. Thinking back now, it was probably extremely gross and definitely not in a state for one to allow one’s bare body to touch.
As the night progressed our randiness escalated and we went from bunk bed to bunk bed. We eventually rolled on the floor and on to the carpet. In our intoxicated state, that long-haired, not-so-fluffy, definitely-not-white-anymore carpet appeared to be the most luxurious piece of fabric ever to be found. At that point, we were making passionate love and it was too good to stop.
I woke up the next morning noticing the old rag of a carpet on the floor. Grimacing at the spectacle as I remembered the night before, I started feeling my back burning. In the mirror I found the skin along my spine bruised and nearly ripped off my back. My boyfriend found it hilarious, me less so. It took months for the bruises to subside and to this day you can still see a faint mark here and there.
I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily proud of my behaviour that evening, but as with all cases, there is something to be learned from this story. Carpets burn and don’t you ever forget it!
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